fuck what I did was your fault somehow
fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
well guess what yo, fuck you right back.


•· ma0ie ·•
a fiesty girl, sometimes dangerous. should be generally harmless, but when provoked, hell is unleashed. quite a shifty girl too, sometimes keep things all to herself, but sometimes open up to others. this characteristic could perhaps be described as 'fire'. beautiful to look at, dangerous to touch. one wrong move and she might sting. 'water' might describe this girl too. warm one moment, cold the next. she contained several emotions and tend to be very emotional and extremely temperamental too. she's excessively sensitive and irritable; gets moody easily.

   

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Monday, March 28, 2005
poof. its gone.

Ma0iee :  pride was attacked
 Crackingg :  aerosmith * jaded
 Todayy :  nah







it was such a happy day.

i was enjoying it so much.

then poof.

its gone.






yes, i do things my way.
i dont give a damn to other people's feeling.
i love myself.
im problematic.

RIGHT???

thats what you think.
thats what youve said about me.
thats what youve said that hurt my pride.
thats what youve said that hurt me.


thats how you hurt me.




cos you dont understand me.

Posted at 11:27 pm by ma0ie
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
. . . . .

Ma0iee :  ...
 Crackingg :  bobo chan * wild seed
 Todayy :  =\






i hate everyone.
i hate you.
i hate me.
i hate everything.

sucks.
who would have thought that things would turned out to be like that?
i don wanna go through it all over again.
i cant afford to.
i cant bear to.
i cant bring myself to go through it again.
my hearts breaks.
my emotions ran wild.
my mind cant think.
yet i cant be spared from continual tortures of other thoughts.
why??
continual put-downs, ignorance.
when will the ice wall be down?
i feel terrible.
i cant stop crying.
i cant stop worrying.
i cant stop thinking.
perhaps i shall isolate myself.
or perhaps i shall die.
no one would realise anyways.
cos im too worthless to be bothered with.

Posted at 12:06 am by ma0ie
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005
imma crybaby.

Ma0iee :  thinking.. ...
 Crackingg :  liu ruo ying * yi bei zi gu dan
 Todayy :  =\






am i really that bad? why it sounded like as if i dont worth a single cent?? why do i feel that way? it hurt me. it hurt my pride. 'if this continues, i will be crude to u lohs.' 'even i say all these to u, i know it will still be the same one lohs;' even just by the thought of these caused my eyes to watered. why be crude to me? and why wont u ever ever ever seemed to believe in me today? twice.. why? why??? WHY????? and then it just dawned on me:

because, its all my fault to be blamed right from the start. again.

Posted at 11:07 pm by ma0ie
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
shame on that fat guy.

Ma0iee :  disgusted
 Crackingg :  jay zhou * jie kou
 Todayy :  dreadful day






woke up with a headache. felt my bedroom spinning when i opened my eyes. it hurts. tried to smile everything off and when it failed, i felt disgusted to almost everything in sight.

went amk again. while waiting for bus at bus stop, one 'ah beng' at around 20 years old holding a coke and marlboro reds in hand, tried extorting money from a young chap of no older than a primary three kid. that 'ah beng' threathened to hit the poor guy if he dont get any money him. and he proudly bo that he's a BIG SHOT gangster around the amk and bishan area. sighs. shame on him.

i was totally disgusted by the sight of him when he tried extorting the poor guy. he was quite fair, and fat. he wore specs that kept sliding off his nose. his teeth were yellowish and dirty. obviously he needs a dentist. his hair was black, wet from either the rain or his own sweat and looked oily to me. he wore a black addidas shirt that was hugging on tightly to his small belly of fats.

he started on the youngster by asking if he can 'have' some money from him, explaining that his grandma is in hospital. and it hit upon me that he needed a hell lot of actings classes. then when the youngster refuses, he walked away, as if trying to stalled time to think of better excuses. then a minute later, he returned to the youngster, warning him that if he dont recieve any money, he would have to use his fist to solve this 'problem'. then he started bragging that he is some BIG SHOT gangster ard the area. big my ass. a gentlement would never do such things on such a young boy. for god's sake, pick someone of his own size!

and that was when my bus came, hopping on to the bus, i was almost praying silently in hope for the poor youngster's safetly.

i feel disgusted to everything in sight.

Posted at 04:14 pm by ma0ie
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Monday, February 28, 2005
blah blah blahs ~ lols.

Ma0iee :  smiles
 Crackingg :  shi wen bing * wang bu liao
 Todayy :  200th!






awwww~ its nice to rot again. rotted my arse off today and i feel wonderful. =X  finally got back my charger today. lols. my stomach isnt doing me any good today. keep wanting to go toilet. damnit. its aching again. -.-"

in maple:
LOL. got my second panlid today~ LOLx. im stil hunting for for candy though. =(

Posted at 03:42 am by ma0ie
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Tuesday, February 22, 2005
assignments

Ma0iee :  struggling with assignments
 Crackingg :  sammi cheng * she de
 Todayy :  housewife. lols~






argh~ im taking a breather after cracking my head for the damn java assignment. my head is spinning. :'(   *cries* all the java commands are driving me nuts.

wednesday : java assignment deadline                   
                   com skills presentation
thursday    : fndb lab test
                   cds coursework final submission
monday     : fdcnk case study 2


Zzz. im going bonkers. someone help. i need help to get everything done in time. sobs.



P.S: mrcheong is sleeping soundly. Zzz.. *snorts*

Posted at 09:39 pm by ma0ie
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Sunday, February 20, 2005
magical feeling no more.

Ma0iee :  sighs; cries
 Crackingg :  tao jing ying * li kai wo
 Todayy :  sad ~






where had the magical feeling gone to?
the spark died down. the fire went out. friction and intense built up.
tears took over laughters.
its not what i wanted things to be.

its just not the same anymore.

Posted at 01:20 pm by ma0ie
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
arcadeeeeee ~ lololololols.

Ma0iee :  after bath; smelling nice nice. =X
 Crackingg :  britney spears * my perogative
 Todayy :  slackkkkkkkk ~






went amk today~ =x  play arcade. lololols. play cooking master. LOL. damn fun. =x sounded like a kiddo yea? lols. its been hell long since i last been to an arcade. hahahas. i had lotsaaa fun. =X

in maple:
im hunting for hard candy. lols. im determined to get one! xD



'its funny how much we spent on a boutique' - LOL. i think so too. =p

Posted at 10:24 pm by ma0ie
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valentine's day~ <3

Ma0iee :  shaa laa laa laa laa ~  =D
 Crackingg :  jennfer lopez * if you had my love
 Todayy :  valentine's day!! <3






its valentine's day! first of all, must wish mrcheong happy happy val day! thanks for the gifts youve given me. i love them. =) 

today's plan wasnt going as expected. cos i overslept. =x  but stil, had a great day like usual. no doubt it wont be as fun as if the plan went well, but i did enjoy myself. =D  talked about several things. things like.. erm. selling flowers on val day and we'll be some rich asses? LOL. i did enjoyed it. thanks for being around and making sure im enjoying every single moment. =)  i'll cherish these moments.

in maple:
woots~ i lvled. lols. tried on those boogies today. they sealed me up and cursed me like nobody's business. damn them. ive killed dozens of them today. lols. =X

Posted at 04:03 am by ma0ie
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Monday, January 17, 2005
a heart is as fragile as it can be..

Ma0iee :  sighs
 Crackingg :  black eyed peas * shut up
 Todayy :  fucked up day??






why did i cry so easily? why did i feel such a great disappointment? why did i feel my heart was breaking?

i feel like exploding. i dont understand. i just dont get it. why am i feeling like this?

i should have known earlier. i shouldnt have got my hopes so high.

its all my fault. everything is all because of me. im such a crybaby.

Posted at 02:27 am by ma0ie
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